Woman gives wife and sister-in-law a reality check after they badger their estranged half-brother online, who wants nothing to do with them: ‘They need to accept he said no’

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  • "AITA for telling my wife and SIL they need to accept their half brother doesn't want a relationship?"

    Six months ago my wife (26f) and her sister (24f) learned they have an older half brother from their mom. They never met this man or heard their mom or
  • anyone talk about him before. The only thing they know is he was primarily raised by his paternal grandparents. When they found out he existed they
  • hired an internet Pl to help them find him. The Pl found his socials and his full name. From there my wife and her sister made contact.
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  • There was no reply and my SIL decided she'd message once a week in case he wasn't getting the notifications. She and my wife did everything to
  • convince themselves he wasn't responding for some other reason other than he didn't want a relationship. After a few months of this he replied
  • once saying he wanted to be left alone and did not want a relationship or any form of contact with them. The next thing his profiles. were made private so the only people who could could interact with him were friends and followers.
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  • My wife's pregnant with our first child right now and some people have suggested the hormones are driving her to obsess over this. But neither are
  • letting this go. I'm trying to be a good wife and supportive but they're talking about doing things. that would be like stalking or harassment in trying to
  • get this man to agree to a relationship. They don't. see why he'd reject them when they never knew he existed. My SIL showed me his reply. I didn't say
  • this to them because I'm not sure, but it sounds to me like he knew they existed and chose to stay away. I could be wrong of
  • course. I suggested therapy to them but they said a therapist wouldn't help them have a relationship with their brother.
  • The other night my wife and I were discussing baby names again and then my wife and SIL started talking about their half brother and how he
  • should be around the baby when he's born. This then turned into a "how do we get in front of him to plead for a chance" and that's when I told them they
  • were handling tis badly and they need to learn to accept his no. I said they don't have to like it, they're allowed their own feelings on it, but they need to accept he said no.
  • I told my wife her half brother was taking up more mental space than our unborn son and he'll be born soon and our lives will change.
  • SIL said I wasn't being understanding enough. My wife didn't argue either way. She looked really thoughtful though and she's been quiet since the other night. AITA?
  • wxst3d Nta-sorry but it's kind of delusional for them to say their half brother should be there when the baby is born. At least how things are currently going. All you did was give them a reality check.
  • He asked them not to contact him. Any further attempts could be harassment. You don't want them to mess around get a record of a court ordered restraining order/ no contact order.
  • If the half brother ever changes his mind, he'll reach out. The ball is his court, but he may/ may not ever pass it back. That's up to him. They can't force a relationship.
  • Mrsanjuro75 NTA. You seem to be understanding her desire to have a relationship with her half brother just fine but she isn't understanding that he doesn't want that. And you are being supportive: if she
  • continues to push this she's only going to be disappointed. Think about how hard it will be to have a relationship with him if he gets a restraining order?

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